I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
