just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
