I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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