Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
