how can u be prego again
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My penis needs a shock collar
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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