That's when you crack a 10am beer
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
