i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
