My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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