hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
