I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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