This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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