I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
