but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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