their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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