She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
