Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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