He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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