It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
where am i from again
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
