We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
