; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
