so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.