halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
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She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.