everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
