went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
