Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
