Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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