We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
