I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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