i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
