Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
