Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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