Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
