the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Randomize
