It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
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Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
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Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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