3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
