I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize