It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
