i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Rumble strips road head = magical
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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