Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
