mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
