Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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