My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
