I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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