Buhtt sex?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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