just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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