Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
