weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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