fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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