You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
