ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
