I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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