i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
