Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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