I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
