worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Houston, we have a squirter
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Blood and glitter go together right?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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