You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
