I swear she didn't look like that last week.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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