I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
