Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
