it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
