i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize