She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
